… on Reading, Rocking and *Insert Another “R” Word Here*

So I’m totally in love with Elyse Sewell’s LiveJournal (http://ping.fm/EJOt4). Some may remember her as one of the contestants on the first season of “America’s Next Top Model.” Others may know her from her face being plastered all over my native continent (Asia, for those of you who have yet to see the epic vision that is moi.)

She’s awesomely hilarious and I find the fact that she refers to Hong Kong as “Hongers” absolutely delightful. And she’s got pretty bitchin’ pictures to boot!

A friend from work has been to Japan and Thailand and continuously tells me that I simply must travel there someday. (This is the same young gentleman who is 6-foot 42, whiter than white can be, unleashed on me in Japanese one day after I’d looked up a bunch of dirty words in Japanese on teh intarwebz and proceeded to give him Post-Its with the aforementioned dirty words written on them while he was at the Genius Bar, and told me this past Sunday that I smelled like Chow Mein [Lo Mein after I'd informed him that I don't like Chow Mein, and granted, I did comment that he smelled funny, which wasn't his fault because there was an unusual smell in the GR.]) Seeing Elyse’s pictures definitely furthers my desire to leave the Home of the Brave for a bit. (Granted, a majority of the pictures she’s posted that have kickstarted my desire for Asianic travel are of food …)

I even informed Tedula Oblongatta (which is how he’s labeled in my iPhone contacts, for those of you who are interested,) that I’d been reading Elyse’s LiveJournal and was interested in traveling to China/Hong Kong/Thailand/Japan after seeing pictures of food.

On the subject of Ted and all things Asian, the little bastard has convinced our German professor that I speak Chinese. Since my grasp of German at the time was not at it’s finest (and, a week later, it still isn’t,) I failed to notice that he’d informed our professor that I could speak Chinese, and when she asked me if I spoke Chinese, my response was “No, I also speak Chinese,” when the intended response was “No, I do NOT speak Chinese … and Ted is a filthy liar.” So guess who gets called on whenever anything regarding China, Chinese people or the Chinese language comes up in our German workbook?

~~~~~

After a rousing day of Rock Band with the illustrious SDJ last week, I have renewed my love of “Rock Band 2,” which I’ve pretty much been playing religiously since. I’ve even mustered up the courage to attempt the orange button and start playing songs on “Hard” for bass. I like the challenge, however, Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf,” while laughably easy now on Medium for guitar and boringly easy on Medium for bass, has become my archnemesis. Soon, Simon LeBon, soon …

I am incredibly proud of my accomplishments and furthering my talents with a plastic toy guitar.

Speaking of plastic toy guitars, I am warming up to the wireless guitar I got last fall. Until recently, I preferred the standard wired guitar I got two Christmases ago with the original Rock Band Special Edition set (drums, microphone and guitar – and let me tell you, lugging that big ass box around the mall at Xmastime was the shit.) I wound up with the wireless guitar after I’d purchased a second (used) Rock Band 1 wired guitar from GameStop, only to find it had no downstroke and the strum bar was pretty wanged – you had to violently pull the thing upward in order to hit a note,) and since I was to be going to a friend’s house to introduce him to the wonders of Rock Band 2, I figured I’d take the opportunity to trade the non-functioning guitar for a spiffy, functioning one. After a nice chat with the boys at GameStop, (who pretty much know all of us Apple folk since we’re all huge nerds and go there like every day,) I was informed that there was pretty much just a 10$ difference between another wired guitar and a wireless (made for Rock Band 2.) And because of my affinity for shiny things, and the promise of a fully-functioning guitar controller, I caved and traded up for the wireless.

I refused to play the wireless for months, choosing my functioning wired guitar controller over the wireless, which sadly collected dust in the corner of the living room, only to be played when I either played with the friend whose use it was originally purchased, or someone else, until I accidentally forgot my wired guitar whilst bringing Rock Band 2 to Antwonton’s house a couple weeks ago. Now, I (heart) it because I’ve now realized (I never said I was quick on the uptake, people,) that it doesn’t take up a USB port on my XBox, leaving a port open … also I think something’s wrong with the wired guitar.

~~~~~

Tomorrow (or today, since it’s quarter to 5 in the morning,) is the 22nd anniversary of the birth of Charizard. We will be celebrating in true nerd fashion – we’ll be congregating later this afternoon for some Star Wars Monopoly and/or Star Wars Trivial Pursuit , then later on, we will be meeting up with Antwonton to play some Rock Band on his TeeVee you can see from space.

We’re pretty classy.

~~~~~

So I watched “Wall-E” for the first time yesterday, then had some “Movietime with Mom” so she could enjoy it as well.

I know I’m pretty late getting into the “Wall-E” phenomenon, but after being at work on Sunday and watching a plethora of children playing the “Wall-E” game we have on the Children’s Table iMacs, I felt it necessary to see what the fuss was about. I was not disappointed.

Unfortunately, Mom didn’t “get” it. I informed her that if she didn’t think the movie was at the very least adorable, then the terrorists, in fact, have won. (I also told KSluts, Doug and Tedula that if you do not find a song about mullets humorous, the terrorists have won as well, in reference to the Vandals’ “I Have an Ape Drape”.) Mom also didn’t “get” that joke either.

~~~~~

Segwaying onto the topic of my mom, the woman absolutely slays me sometimes.

I’ve been the proud owner of an XBox 360 Elite for over a year now. Mom was aware of this purchase when she found the receipt for said XBox 360 Elite and had ripped me a new one for spending that much XMas money.

However, since the Box now lives in my room and no longer in the living room, she’s forgotten pretty much all about it, which is fine because I’m pretty sure she’s a huge technophobe and the beauty of an XBox would be completely lost on her anyway.

So, when I’d brought my XBox out to the living room and plugged it into our moderate TeeVee, Mom asked, “What’s that black box?” To which I responded, “It’s my XBox.” “How long have you had it?” “For over a year.”

To the untrained eye, that conversation wouldn’t seem unusual. However, Mom asks me what the XBox is EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE SPOTS IT IN THE LIVING ROOM, which to me, is absolutely hysterical, since it happens so regularly. I’m not sure why she never remembers I have an XBox, but we always have a good laugh about it when I remind her I’ve had the thing forever. Mom claims it’s senility kicking in. I just think she needs more ginko biloba in her diet.

Then again, there are definitely times she’s told me about how she thought I was in my room and has had full-length conversations with me, only to have me walk into the house later that day or stumble out of my bed after having been in a coma, much to her surprise (and once, abject horror at the unkempt bedhead I presented her with) and embarrassed laughter. Though, I would be lying if I said that only happened to my mother …

~~~~~

This is becoming a pretty lengthy blog. I haven’t blogged in a while, so I guess it’s due.

Anyway, yet another segway into yet another story! This one is from my days at college, when I lived in the dorm, and relates to the previous story about my mom having conversations with me when I wasn’t home.

Apparently, I can be a sleep ninja. I have a tendency of curling up underneath my comforter completely with a pillow over my head, leaving room for air to circulate. Once in a while, a rogue appendage can be spotted sticking out from under the blanket. Since I pretty much live in a control base now, only one person has seen me sleeping recently, but I still believe that the sleep ninja thing stands.

One day, I awoke to my roommate, S, coming into our dorm room, quite panicked. (My bed was located directly in front of the door, which is information that will be useful soon.) I sat up, bedhead in full effect, and scare the bejesus out of her. The following is my paraphrasing of our conversation:
S: Where the HELL have you been?
Me: Sleeping, why?
S: I have been looking EVERYWHERE for you! How long have you been asleep?
Me: I don’t know, since before you got home? I knocked out right after class.
(This timeframe was probably about 2 hours.)
S: You’ve been here the whole time?
Me: Yeah.
S: Well, shit.

As it turned out, S had been searching all over the dorm for me, asking pretty much every single person I’d ever come in contact with in our dorm building if they’d seen me. Some had, but that was during class. Most knew me as “The Pink Haired Girl From the Basement” and had not seen my florescent domepiece all day.

As we had a laugh about this, S told me that she passed my bed not once, not twice, not three times, but at LEAST 6 times in her ongoing effort to find me, since my bed was located DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OUR DOOR, so it was the first thing she’d see when she walked into the room and the last thing she’d pass when she left.

I never found out what it was that she so desperately was trying to find me for, though for the rest of the day, every single person I passed in the hall told me that my roommate was looking for me.

A few days later, I walked into my dorm room to find S sitting on my bed, looking rather angry.
Me: What’s up?
S: You think you’re so clever, don’t you?
Me: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
S: I totally thought you were in your bed and I was TALKING TO YOU, only to find that you WEREN’T HERE.

College was awesome.

… on German

I had my first class of the semester on Monday. I’m taking German – Introduction to Speaking I with Ted.

We found out we have class with our buddy, Charlie.

If Monday’s class was any indication of how the semester’s going to go, we’re pretty certain that this is going to be the best class.

Ever.

Suffice to say, we’re pretty excited.

And it also helped that I had my mom cracking up while I was trying to read from my German book.

Awesome.

… on New Hours

So my schedule has changed at work and my sleep schedule is, like my work schedule, all sorts of messed up.

I have spent the past five days (M-F) keeping very odd hours. I don’t think I’ve woken up before noon at all – up until Thursday, I hadn’t woken up before 1PM.

Today I was brutally woken up at 11AM by my mom calling to inform me that today was my grandmother’s 90th birthday and my presence was requested at her house for lunch at noon. And considering the ringtone my mom has, you as well would be pants-shitting scared to being woken up by a “Jurassic Park” velociraptor. (For any of you wondering, Dad is the “JP” T-Rex, and it’s equally as alarming being woken up by that as well.)

Then there’s various napping throughout the day. I’ve been told I don’t take naps – I take comas. I suppose that’s true and I embrace that. My sleep habits are strange when there are other factors involved, ie: location, intoxication, illness, stress, etc.

I suppose stress has been a resounding factor in my odd sleep habits as of late. I have been very distressed lately – and none of which I’ll blog publicly, as who the hell knows who reads this thing. This culminated a couple days ago when I was up until about 7AM and wound up “talking” to my mother from 6AM to 7 (when she demanded that I go to sleep because I was scaring her.) By “talking” I mean fidgeting, shaking, stuttering (which I am aware I do when I’m not “right,” which is often a dead giveaway that something’s wrong or bothering me) pacing and in her terms, acting mildly frenetic and definitely manic. Mom’s advice was to nip this problem in the bud (which, the prospects of scare the bejesus out of me) and “get some sleep, kiddo.”

Mom’s been good lately – not as hot/cold.

I’ve been spending a good amount of time with Ted over the past three weeks and it’s been fun. We have adventures.

For instance, we picked up “Shamu’s Deep Sea Adventures” for the original XBox at one of the stores closing at the mall for $4.23. We went half on it, and because that bastard full out purchased “Last Remnant” for XBox 360 at ANOTHER store that’s closing for 50% off, I was designated to play “Shamu.” I played it and beat it in about 3 hours total, though I did have dinner, take a coma, download, play and beat another game, and watch a movie in between, so what started at around 5:30PM didn’t end until about 3AM.

I just went into the kitchen for a drink and spotted a small black plastic bag. Inside the aforementioned bag was not one, but TWO jars of mayonnaise. And this is after my mother had bought a jar earlier today when she went shopping. I know not of the origins of these other two jars, but I’m not sure I like the idea of Kraft infiltrating my home with mayo, be it “real” or not.

… on FenixTX Lyrics at 6AM.

How could I have ever saved you?
The only thing I’d ever done was care.
How could I have ever blamed you?
You never promised that you would always be there.

Can’t sleep again. I had a huge angry blog typed that I had to password protect (http://ping.fm/Sravt) because both Doug and Ted advised the world was not ready for that much rage.

I’m jittery. People are noticing that I haven’t been “right” for the past week.

I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since December 17th. No, that’s a lie – December 16th. I got a very irritating text message on the 17th and on the 18th, I was so uncomfortable, frustrated and out of sorts that I had made a lot of stupid mistakes. Haven’t really slept since.

Protected: An Open Letter

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… on Legendary Nights

Today was a blah day. Or at least, it started as a blah day.

I’ve been sleeping a whole lot – compensating for the complete lack of sleep I’d been getting over the past two weeks, I guess. I woke up at around 1, then went back to sleep after a bit and eventually woke up for good at around 4:30.

I read some Penny Arcade and got a text from Tedula, which wound up with me going over and hanging out with him while he played THE SINGLE MOST BORING GAME EVER MADE FOR THE XBOX 360 – Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.

After we finally got bored of that to the point where we were going to pass out, we decided to call one of my CTG buddies, Icedevil, who’d called previously, but due to a lack of service in the basement of Ted’s house, I couldn’t answer the call.

Turns out, Icedevil was in Manchester, CT with another friend of ours, Nicki (or, Noisy Naked Nicki, as she’s often called, as she’s noisy, sometimes naked and her name is Nicki.)

A road trip was in order. We piled in Cole Train (my car,) and after a brief stop at the gas station, we were off. There was much singing in the car and a few detours, but we made it by around 11:15.

There was some drinking, and I abstained (aside from two beers) because I was driving.

Nicki accosted me in the women’s room, telling me about how she thought Ted was hot and that she wanted to make out with him and all that. Then she asked if she could come back to Danbury with us so she could make out with Ted. For some reason, I agreed, thinking this was a good idea. Ted has already seen Nicki naked, so all was fine, right?

The car ride was ridiculous. Nicki was in the back seat, yelling and being noisy. Ted and I were singing “Hiphopotomus vs. the Rhymenoceros (featuring the Hiphopotomus and the Rhymenoceros)” by Flight of the Conchords. We do a mean duet.

There most definitely was a call to Anthony at 1:45 in the morning and Ted most definitely made Nicki talk to him. Eventually, I got on the phone with him, tired and frustrated, and Anthony did say that it was the most epic, creepy, weird and random phone call he’s ever gotten at 1:45AM. We were glad to oblige.

Finally, we got back to Ted’s and Ted immediately put Nicki to bed and turned out all the lights in the hope that she would not be able to navigate the house in the dark. He and I took the dog out and figured our plan of attack to bring Nicki back to Manchester tomorrow.

When we brought the dog back inside, Nicki was at the door. “I’m not a very good listener.” Somehow she’d managed to find her way around the house. We aimed her to the bathroom and that’s when I said my good-byes.

I got home at about 2:30AM. I’m now snuggled in my bed with Gavin.

It was a great night. I’m glad I went out and had a good time, because I’d been pretty effing down lately, and this definitely brightened my spirits.

I can’t wait for the awesome car ride tomorrow with Ted, Anthony and Nicki.

However, I’m not particularly excited about the prospects of waking up before noon.

… on Surveys

I don’t do these things often, so give me a break. I’m also on day 1 of my “new and improved” 4 days off-3 days on work week. About that, I am not excited.

~~~~~

Crayon Box Survey

Red=ANGER

1. Are you currently mad at someone?
Aside from my usual and continual contempt for Anthony, no.

2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
Probably me. I bottle up my frustrations and then unleash it at inopportune times, by doing or saying inappropriate things that I don’t mean.

3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
I throw things at people all the time. I threw a pen at Doug yesterday. Not out of anger, though. I did get mad once and throw a watermelon on the floor.

4. Does your face turn red when you’re angry?
No … for some reason I don’t blush, (I’m not sure if it’s an Asian thing or what,) so my face does not get red when I’m angry. I wonder what color it turns, though, because I’m never near a mirror when I’m mad.

5. When you’re mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
I bitch and clench my fists and sometimes I yell. If I’m near a sandbox, I kick sand. Sometimes I even make an *enraged elephant noise*. (Throwing of fruit follows directly after.)

ORANGE = EXCITEMENT

1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you?
No. I’m not good at surprises. My friends all know very well not to come up behind me and startle me, because usually what follows is screaming (me) and pain (them,) since I have a tendency of blindly punching whoever it is that has scared me. I’ve punched poor Drea more times than I can remember …

2. Are you easily excited?
Not anymore. Unless it’s a sure thing, I try not to get my hopes up.

3. What event is coming up that you’re most excited about?
… I’ll come back to this one.

5. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
For the emptiness to be filled. (And where the hell did #4 go?)

YELLOW = SELF DISCOVERY

1. Name?
Dot (or Radar)

2. Birthday?
July 31 (Same as Harry Potter, Wesley Snipes and BJ Novak – Woo!)

3. What’s your main goal in life?
To be happy … I would also like to hold a koala.

4. Do you want to have children?
Eventually.

5. How do you want to die?
Personally, I’d like to go out in a blaze of glory, however, I almost died from a brain hemorrhage from laughing so hard at Janice’s response, so I believe it bears repeating:

“anywhere but on the can. Maybe not at home in bed because I would feel bad for mike to see that. Plus dead bodies sometimes pee and crap and that would be a big mess to have to clean up… which brings me back to the toilet thing… maybe that wouldnt be so bad. You could just flush and Voila! Ship me on outta there.”

GREEN = OPINIONS

1. Lower the drinking age?
No. I started drinking at the age of 3 … and look how I turned out.

2. Capital punishment?
Sure. Not in the politcal sense, but I’d prefer to have less a-holes running around stealing my air.

3. Abortion?
Pro-Choice, goddammit. I don’t want anyone else governing over what goes on in my uterus.

BLUE= LOVE

1. Do you love someone?
I care. Probably too much.

3. What did you get for Valentines Day?
Movie passes and a couple Star Wars trinkets.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, because usually, I’m looking at a tree or something behind the person in question, so he’s all like “Woo, look at Dot” and I’m like “Ooo a bird!”

PURPLE = Q&A

Q: How many beds did you lay in today?
14 … or just 1

Q: What color top are you wearing?
Navy Blue

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
2 bucks and assorted spare change. I tend not to carry cash on me.

Q: Is Tom On Your Top Friend or On Your Friends List?
Who? Oh that guy. No. <– Good call, Janice

Q: Look to your left..?
A stack of DVDs (Constantine, Jaws 3), XBox 360 games (COD4, Gears of War 2, Rock Band 2, Halo 3), my iPhone and my car keys are all resting on top of my XBox.

Q: What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
One of my friends’ workshirts.

Q: What website(s) do you like to visit during the day?
http://ping.fm/FLQIF
http://cuteoverload.com
http://ping.fm/3v9UM

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
I don’t do well with plants.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Gavin (Turdie) scratched my foot. That hurts pretty bad, alongside the paper cut on my right hand pinky knuckle I got at the Genius Bar the other day.

Q:When was your last taxi cab ride?
Edinburgh 07, drunkenly slurring that I needed to “go the fuck back to my flat”

Q:Do you own a picture phone
Yes and there are 350 pictures currently on it.

Q: Last time you cried?
When I fucked up.

-PINK = LAST

1. Person you saw?
I think it was Adam as I was saying goodbye to him on my way out the door from work yesterday.

3. Movie watched in cinema?
The Spirit on Xmas day with Charizard.

4. Song you listened to?
Last: “Savior” – Rise Against

5. Person you talked on the phone with?
Shawn Turner! He was waiting at the eye doctor.

GRAY = TODAY

1. What are you doing right now?
Finishing up this survey before I take a shower and go hang out with Tedula.

2.What are you doing tonight?
Hanging out with the illustrious Tedula Oblongatta … and most likely getting yelled at by the aforementioned Tedula Oblongatta.

BROWN = TOMORROW

1. Is…?
Tuesday

2. Goal?
Wake up.

3. Are you going to laugh?
Hopefully.

4. Are you doing anything tomorrow?
Nothing planned. I lead a very interesting life.

… on the Future

There’s nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it.

Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their “discomfort” like a favorite shirt.

I can’t say I’m very pleased with where my life is just now…

but I can’t help but look forward to where it’s going.

Social Distortion – “I Was Wrong”

When I was young,
I was so full of fear.
I hid behind anger,
Held back the tears.
It was me against the world,
I was sure that I’d win.
But the world fought back,
Punished me for my sins.
I felt so alone,
So insecure.
I blamed you instead,
Made sure I was heard.
And they tried to warn me of my evil ways.
But I wouldn’t hear what they had to say.

I was wrong,
Self-destruction’s got me again.
I was wrong,
I realize now that I was wrong.

And I think about my loves,
Well, I’ve had a few.
Well, I’m sorry that I hurt them,
Did I hurt you too?
I took what I wanted,
Put my heart on the shelf.
But how can you love when you don’t love
yourself?
It was me against the world,
I was sure that I’d win.
The world fought back,
Punished me for my sins.
And they tried to warn me of my evil ways
But I couldn’t hear what they had to say.

I was wrong,
Self-destruction’s got me again.
I was wrong,
I realize now that I was wrong.

I grew up fast,
And I grew up hard.
Something was wrong from the very start.
I was fighting everybody,
I was fighting everything.
But the only one that I hurt was me.
I got society’s blood running down my face.
Somebody help me get outta this place.
How could someone’s bad luck last so long?
Until I realized that I was wrong.

I was wrong,
Self destruction’s got me again.
I was wrong,
I realize now that I was wrong.
I was wrong,
Self-destruction’s got me again.

I was wrong,
The only one that I hurt was me.
I was wrong.

… on Redemption

I read this on Sean McGuinness’ site “Twisted Kaiju Theater” (http://ping.fm/hDFSk). I felt it necessary to re-post.

“Is December really almost over with, already? Jesus fuck all Christ. I will tell you one thing, I’m DONE with 2008. Bring on 2009 and a hope for a better tomorrow. I’ve spent almost every day of the last few months looking back on the fucked up shit in my life that was mostly my fault. I feel like Kratos from God of War. I want the gods to take away my memories of all my mistakes so I don’t cringe when I look back on the fingerpainting tapestry that is my life. But where and what am I without those mistakes? I think if I got a do-over I could do things better. But I’d rather get anally raped by King Kong than spend one minute back in high school. You have to accept who you are, and I’ll tell you right now that is the HARDEST thing thing to do. If I met my own clone I probably wouldn’t get along with myself. I don’t see how my wife does.”

Interesting and colorful outlook. I definitely understand that coming to terms with oneself is difficult. I also agree with his views on high school. But in all honesty, I am what my mistakes have made me. I’ve learned from them and I’ve evolved.

Evolution is key.

And I honestly can say that I’ve learned enough about myself this past year, hell, the past few months, to say that I can’t wait for a new year and a more improved me.

There have been people I’ve met this past year that have put forth a good effort into making me a better person, whether they realize it or not. Sure, I still have my moments, which have definitely made some people irritated with me, but it’s those mistakes that keep me moving forward.

A wise person and good friend told me that I can’t waste time on things that have happened. I can’t change them, so why spend my life wondering about what could have been? To look forward toward what I need to do and become, is progress.

It’s been a shitty week, no doubt, and it’s been primarily my fault. I’ve made my apologies, but as they say, time heals all wounds. I know I’ll stop feeling stupid and stop being mad at myself, and hopefully, I’ll be forgiven for the errors I’ve made. I’m not perfect – far from it – and as much as I want to deny it, I am still human.

To err is human, to forgive, divine. I’ve erred … and now I need to forgive myself for it.

I seek redemption.